Life isn't always fair

How fair is this? I'm relaxing on Sunday between conference sessions, yes I tried to watch it while wrestling with 3 bored kids and a baby while Jeff happened to get called in and was working, just finished making lunch and was cleaning up when the phone rings. I looked at the caller I.D. and it was the BISHOP!! I hurry and turn down the cartoons in the background, used my mom voice and told the kids they better be quiet while I'm on the phone, and politely answered,
"Hello?"

"Sister Myers!!"

Oh, gosh, it's the bishop. I wonder why he's calling me. Why does he sound so happy to talk to me? Please don't ask me what my favorite talk is so far. I'm trying to pay attention, I really am, but Jeff's gone, my kids are bored, I keep dozing off...

"Hi, Bishop!" is my sweet reply.

"How are you!?!?!?"

He sounds a little too chipper. Get to the point already. I'm suffering here.

"Good! And you?"

"Oh, I'm SWELL!!!"

Swell? Who says swell anymore? Why is he calling me?

"I was wondering when the last time was that you spoke in Sacrament meeting." he says so calmy.

Oh shoot. A talk in sacrament meeting? Do I be honest? Does he really keep track of these things? I can think of a handful of people who have never spoken since they've moved into the ward. And I spoke only 3 years and 4 months ago. Is it my turn again already?

"Oh, it's been a while." I say nonchalantly.

"Don't tell me it was just last month!" he says with a cynical laugh.

"Ha ha, yeah, last month, no, it's been about 3 years." Why did I just admit that? What was I thinking?

"Oh good!! Well I was wondering which Sunday in October you would like to speak. We were hoping you could speak on Sunday but if that doesn't work out, let me know which Sunday will."

What? You mean I have an option? Sounds like I have to speak sometime this month, there's no way out of this one! May as well get it over with.

"Sure! I'd love to speak this Sunday!" came my comply, I mean reply.

"Great! Here's your topic ... " He then proceeded to give me my topic which is still so broad to me I can't exactly remember how he worded it. Something along the lines of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes - no specific scripture mentioned - talking about wisdom. Then how you gain happiness through wisdom. Then how you gain wisdom through General Conference addresses - not this weekend in particular - but just General Conference in general. You know, gaining happiness through wisdom gained from General Conference. Our scriptures for the next 6 months.

What? Say that again? I should have been writing this down. Why didn't he give me a one word topic like prayer for instance, or repentance, or gratitude. Doesn't he know that one word is easier to search on lds.org than "gaining happiness through wisdom gained from general conference addresses"?

"Great! Sounds good!" I say, trying my hardest not to sound confused.

"All right, then, we'll see you on Sunday! Thanks again!"

"Yeah, see you on Sunday!"

Did that really just happen? I'm speaking this Sunday? What was my topic again? Jeff doesn't have to speak with me? Why did I answer the phone? What was my topic again? How do I prepare for that topic? All I know is this talk definitely won't be my shining moment and I better not have to do this again for another 3 years!!