...drumroll...
Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies! I remember eating them all the time as a child, and loving them! We could never keep these homemade cookies in our house longer than 1 day. Who am I kidding? I don't even think they made it to the cookie jar. They were in our mouths right off of the brown paper bags they were cooling on. My kids need more homemade favorites, so I went to the store and got all the ingredients to make a double batch. I know. I'm such a good mom. Since I hardly ever bake, I needed to get some shortening. I went for the butter flavor since it sounded like it would make the cookies even better. They don't need any improvement, believe me the original recipe is divine but I thought butter flavored shortening would make the "melt in your mouth" experience a little more heavenly.
I get home and start mixing the ingredients right away. Having to double the recipe, I found myself back in 3rd grade math dealing with fractions. Okay so 3/4 cups of shortening twice equals 1 1/2 cups of shortening. Right? 3/4 + 3/4 = 6/4 = 1 2/4 = 1 1/2 Okay, I think I'm right.
I hardly ever deal with shortening but I deal with cubes of butter all the time. I know that 1 stick of butter equals 1/2 cup. So if I need 1 1/2 cups of shortening that equals 3 sticks of shortening, right? Yes, of course I'm right. So I put the shortening in the bowl with the brown sugar and white sugar, doubling everything, making sure all my fractions are doubled correctly, mix it up, add the eggs, vanilla, water, mix again, add the flour, salt, and baking soda, mix again, then the oatmeal and the chocolate chips. Of course this step can't be mixed with the beaters so Ally, who's been watching this whole time begs to lick the beaters. I totally remember doing that as a child, too, so of course I give her both to lick. Oh, I'm such a good mom. So she's licking away while I'm mixing the rest with a spoon.
Whew! Now we drop it on a cookie sheet and bake the cookies. But first, taste the cookie dough. BLECH!!!! Oh my gosh! This is nasty! I don't remember cookie dough tasting like this when I was little! Maybe this Weight Watchers diet has really helped me curb those cravings for all things sugar! Awesome! Thanks Weight Watchers! Ooooh, maybe it's the butter flavored shortening! This cookie dough tastes way to greasy! I should have stuck with the original, not the butter flavored! What a waste! Oh well, maybe the cookies will taste better than the dough.
So I put the first batch in for the estimated 12-15 minutes. I check them at 12, no, still completely raw. Check at 15, still raw, check at 20, finally the edges are turning brown and the cookies are all touching each other, flat as pancakes, 25 minutes later, the edges are completely crispy and the centers are barely cooked. What in the world is wrong with these cookies?!?! Could I have possibly been wrong in converting my doubled fractions into whole numbers? I go back and check my math again. If this were a test, I would have aced it! I know my math was right. So I happen to look over at the cubes of shortening and see that 1 cube of shortening is 16 tablespoons or 1 cup. Not a 1/2 cup like a cube of butter. You mean I only needed 1 1/2 cubes of shortening and I put in 3. Oh my gosh. I basically quadrupled the amount of shortening and doubled the rest of the ingredients. YUCK! That's why they taste so greasy and why they're flat as pancakes! OH NO!! Ally licked both beaters of pure shortening! Oh great. I've probably clogged her arteries with this lard recipe of mine. Yeah, I'm such a good mom.
Luckily, I had all the ingredients I needed to continue quadrupling the entire recipe, instead of just one part. Of course I needed a bigger bowl but this time after mixing all the ingredients together, the taste test was exactly how I remember it being as a child. Whew!
Even though I spent the next 4 hours making 100 cookies the size of clocks, I did feel like a good mom. My kids were eating them right off the brown paper bags they were cooling on saying things like, "No way! Mom, you made cookies?!?! OOOOOH! These are my favorites! Mom, you're the best mom in the whole wide world! Wow! Are these all for us?!?! Can I have 4 more? Really? Thanks Mom! How did you make these just like they do at the store? They're so big! Mmmmmmmm!"
Of course, I'm a natural at this baking thing! Remember my bread in a can? Yeah, my kids love when I make homemade treats. I'm just glad I figured out my mistake so they'll continue to think I'm the best at baking! But between you and me, I'm positive that's a title I will never posess!
17 comments:
I hate when you do something like that!
I can't count the number of times I have HAD to make a bigger batch because of miscalculations!
Our cookies never make it to the cookie jar either!
Kim, that is so funny. Don't feel too badly, I have often ruined a recipe because of miscalculations. I'm proud of you for enduring, I would have given up and gone to McD's for the 3 cookies for a dollar deal.
They tasted amazing...I would never have guessed you had so many problems with them. So, where's the recipe? You should have posted it, too. I want it!!
Aren't you glad you decided to taste the dough first before baking? You would have had one big greasy mess all over your oven! I'm glad you got it all figured out, and now you won't have to endure Cameron's tell-all at school of his mom's really great greasy cookies!! Now he'll just rave about how his mom makes the BEST cookies ever!
We love Oatmeal Chocolate chip around here too!
By the way, I love the header on your page! Where did you find it? And how did you do it?
Thanks! Tiffani, I just added a link to the free web headers page I found through Google. You'll see it at the top of my blog. After I picked the header I wanted, I saved it in my pictures file, opened it in my photo editing program then customized it with my title and subtitle. Really easy to do! Then when I got it how I liked, I customized my title on my blog and just plugged my customized header right in!
Oh Kimi...I was on the floor... laughing out loud...you tell such funny stories!! You are right about the cookies not making it to the cookie jar...in fact I don't even remember owning a cookie jar when you were little...what was the use??!!:)I am sure Ally will survive the lard!! How many did you eat??
Kim, I was laughing out loud! What a great story. At least yours got baked. My kids eat so much dough, we barely get a dozen or 2 baked! I also mix chocolate chips and butterscotch chips in that recipe. They get eaten twice as fast! Your a good mom no matter what your cookies are.
lol...that is too funny! Do you remember when we tripled a batch of cookies and it didn't fit in the mixer and we mixed them by hand on the floor on wax paper or plastic wrap or something??? That was many, many moons ago...but I still remember!
Oh my gosh, Susie! I totally remember that! It was wax paper and I think we doubled an already doubled recipe. Your mom was so nice to let us do that on her kitchen floor! Good times!
KIM-
Who is in charge of the Benefit run for Daniel? Jeremy knows the 3Rivers Road Runners website guy and he said if we got him the info he would probably be able to post it on their site. It might be another way to advertise...
I don't remember. We were talking about it on our walk, right? Maybe Alicia or Sarah know who's in charge. That would be great to have more advertising, though.
That is hilarious. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who makes math mistakes when baking. I always manage to ruin whatever I'm cooking though, even without math mistakes. I'll have to blog about my taco seasoned peanut butter chocolate chip bars.
Yum! Can't wait to hear all about that recipe!
Hi Kim!
Thanks for the comment on my page. I'm going to add your blogg link on to it. Kendle would love to get together and play with Ally. She loves to make a new friend. I loved this cookie story by the way. So funny, and I'm glad you shared it because a lot of people like to pretend they make perfect cookies every time. Who knows, maybe you're on to a knew kind of cookie.
Funny story, Kim! The cookies were very yummy so it all turned out well.
This is so funny! Cookies the size of clocks! I can totally relate. I have had more than my share of kitchen mishaps and drama!
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