What Will Cameron Say Next?

Lindsay and I trade babysitting so that we can help out in the classroom once a week. Our boys are in the same class at school and are the best of friends. It's great! Well, yesterday, while Lindsay was volunteering, she told me about something that Cameron said in class. My stomach turned a little. You just never know what Cameron is going to say.

For the month of November, the class is talking about food. Learning about the food groups, what makes a balanced meal, which foods have which nutrients, and so forth. So up comes the topic of bread. I was horrified that Lindsay was going to say that Cameron told his class a nightmare bread story that recently happened, thankfully he didn't. Instead, the teacher said that some moms make homemade bread. Cameron happily quipped in, "My mom makes the best homemade bread!"

When Lindsay told me he said this, I thought, "what in the world is he talking about? I don't know the first thing about how to make homemade bread! I don't even have a bread maker!"

Lindsay is trying to hold back laughter. She must know me too well. She continues, "Yeah, he said, ' My mom makes the best bread! She makes it from a can! She pops the can open, and rolls the bread, puts it on a pan and makes it!'

My poor deprived child. He thinks homemade bread comes out of a can. It really is good though. You know, the Pillsbury Reduced Fat Crescent Rolls? My version of homemade bread.

Cameron continues, "Yeah! She even let me pop the can once!" Oh, couldn't he have stopped with the "My mom makes the best homemade bread!" comment? Just leave it at that? Tiffani, it sounds like I desperately need a Baked Goods Tutorial. What night is good for you?

So today, it was my turn to volunteer in the classroom. Surely, Cameron can't divulge any more family secrets, can he? Sure enough. While we're all in Senora Hanan's class, the topic of food is still being discussed, more specifically brown food. She asks the class what are some examples of brown food? All the kids hands go shooting up including Cameron's. I'm thinking to myself "Please say something that is supposed to be brown, not something that turned brown by accident..."

She calls on Cameron. My stomach turns with anxiety. He excitedly yells out "Root Beer!"

WHEW!!! Great answer sweetie!!!! That is brown! And not something I make!

Then she calls on another kid who answers with "Coffee!"

Apparently Cameron wasn't done talking yet and yells out, "My mom drank a huge bottle of Coffee once!" What? Cameron, what are you talking about? Should I say something? I don't drink coffee! The teacher looks over at me with a sweet smile and says, "Yes, some moms need lots of coffee to feel good in the mornings." I had to say something.

"Cameron, sweetie, I've never had a cup of coffee in my life."

"Yes, you have!"

"No, I don't think so."

"Yeah, remember in Idaho? With Ally? You drank lots of coffee and told us you needed it."

What? Honestly, I have never had coffee in my life! What is he talking about? OHHH.....

"Caffeine, Cameron, not coffee. It was called caffeine!"

If any of you know my kids, the caffeine nazis, you would know how hard it was for me to justify drinking a Dr. Pepper in front of them because it had caffeine in it. I told them sometimes mommies need caffeine. Apparently he still hasn't forgotten it!

So here's my poor homemade bread deprived child who thinks I drink coffee because I need it. I wish I knew what he was saying about me when my or Lindsay's ears aren't around! Maybe I'm better off not knowing!