Shopko - Not the Luckiest of Places

I realized after my last post that out of all my nightmares, Shopko is the common link.

1.) When Ally was teeny tiny and walking, maybe 18 months old, I thought I lost her. We were standing in line in the pharmacy when she walked out the pharmacy door. I thought she'd come right back in and when she didn't, I went out looking for her. I looked right and left, nothing. The pharmacy door was about 10 feet from the main entrance and she wasn't anywhere to be seen. I started FREAKING OUT!!! I ran out the main entrance doors, looked up and down the sidewalk, couldn't see her, went back in and was begging for this Ukranian woman to tell me if she had seen my daughter. Neither of us could understand each other. I was crying and seriously the biggest basket case ever. I never felt so helpless in my life. I thought someone had snatched her and took off with her outside. She wasn't anywhere. Finally, some lady in the pharmacy came out and said, "Ma'am, are you looking for her?" And pointed back in the pharmacy. Ally had walked out the pharmacy, and walked back in the store entrance making a big circle, never walking outside. I scooped her up, held her as tight as I could, wiped my tears and asked the pharmacist to please hurry up with my Effexor prescription.

2.) A couple of years ago, while Jeff and I were trying NOT to conceive, our method of birth control was the condom. I know, not something you want to picture, but it's true. We ran out of them and I was going to Shopko to pick something up, probably medication, and Jeff said, "Hey, while you're there, grab some condoms." Great. I'll grab some condoms. I hate buying those things. There's no way of hiding what they're used for. It's just embarrassing. So I get the condoms and try to disguise my purchase with a shirt, some gum, a magazine. I buy my stuff, and head out the door. The alarm starts going off. I look around and everyone is looking at me. What? Me? Why? What made the alarm go off? The manager comes over and starts looking through my bag and the cashier is still at her register helping the long line of customers. So while we're at the door, the cashier yells over to her manager, "I took the security clip off her shirt. I don't know why the alarm is ..." the manager continues rummaging through my bag and finds the condoms. She pulls them out of the bag and yells back to the cashier, "I bet it's these CONDOMS! You didn't de-magnetize this security sticker on this BOX OF CONDOMS!" Oh my gosh! Quit waving them around in the air for the whole store to see! Just de-magnetize them already. "Here, ma'am, come with me and we'll get this sticker de-magnetized." We head over to the same cashier who originally helped me, waved the box over the de-magnetizer, while the cashier and manager have this conversation. "Oh, I didn't know the condoms had security stickers on them." "Well, we don't want just anyone being able to walk out of the store with these whenever they want!" "Yeah, you know how teenagers can be." Please, just finish and give me the condoms. Jeff will be REALLY lucky if he gets to use these tonight.

3.) Of course, our most recent disaster of Brady's public display of vomiting and fainting. To see all those details, read my last post.

So, the third times the charm, I've concluded that Shopko is not my store. Shopko will be lucky to ever get our business again. Guess I'll know where to go if my life is getting a little boring. Shopko will liven things up again with our history.